采用了恰当的衔接手法,层次清晰;句式变化多样;文章词汇使用较为恰当灵活,希望能更熟练地使用学术词汇请注意分段;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
One day,after school was over,Li Ming and Wang Ping were walking in the street when they saw an old man fall down from his bicycle,his left leg was broke and it was bleeding,he lay in the ground seems very painful.In a moment many people crowded around him,some of them said that they should put the old man to the roadside under the trees,but Li Ming who had learned some medical knowledges disagree with that,insisted to check up the injured one first.Unexpectedly,the old man stopped his breathing,everyone were getting nervous except Li Ming,who soon found the way deal with this accident,he asked Wang Ping to call the First Aid Centre,he used the mouth-to-mouth way to the old man,and another worker volunteer stopped bleeding.Less than ten minutes later,the old man awaked from the shock and started to move his body.Li Ming had been praised by the First Aid Centre doctor for his proper and timely process.