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文章学术词汇使用熟练，词汇表达较为丰富；行文稍显不流畅，应增加文中衔接词的使用；采用了一些简单的从句；请注意分段。
With the development of science and technology, people, especially college students begin to realize the significance of being a volunteer. It is reported that China increases an ocean of volunteers, recent years.From my angle, it is a benefit thing for us to be volunteer. There are a multitude of reason behind my mind. Generally speaking,being a volunteer has two major merits. For our students, the experience of being a volunteer can enhance our perseverance and improve our eloquence. For instance, last year, I joined a charity which need me to appeal the strange to denote 100yuan to help the poor kids go to school. I did not know how to say these words for self-conscious. But three times passed, I found I can make it easily ,meanwhile, my eloquence is improves obviously.Then, there is another benefit that it can form a wonderful social awareness. If everyone is willing to be a volunteer, the society will be full of love. A saying "Love makes world around." To sum up, where there are more volunteers, there are more love, vitality,and development.
