拼写很棒,可适当增加学术词汇的使用;若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更不错;文章层次不够分明,缺少组织,需注意文章整体的组织结构;请注意分段。
As we can see, the father asked her daughter how was school today, the daughter went away just told to her father read her blog, which shows us how universally the internet around our life. With the popularity of mobile devices, internet becomes more universally in our life.During the family gathering,the young usually prefer playing their mobile devices to chatting with the elder. It's no doubt that the internet which provides a convenient way on interpersonal communication, makes our life abundant and convenient. On the internet, we can make friends without the region limited to learn about different people. However, it also cut down our communication with our family. For example, the young may would rather express their thoughts on the internet than told to the their parents. In this aspects, the internet enlarge the distance among the interpersonal communication. In conclusion , the internet has its two coins on interpersonal communication. In order to come over its disadvantages on the interpersonal communication, people need to hold the correct concepts and cherish the time in the family gathering. When staying with other people, we have better not to indulge on the internet.
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