行为稍欠流畅,过渡词用的还可以;若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更不错;文中词汇表达较灵活丰富,不过请检查文章的单词拼写。
With the computer prevail further, more and more people became a user on Internet all over the world. At the same time, our life became very convience through the computer, such as online shopping is a fashion. Nowdays, with the e-business widely development and not pay,a number of people choice set up an online store, not only the goods very cheap ,but also kinds of various. It is beneficial that not want to go to shopping on mall. Because of online store without pay , many college students earn enough tuition . But online shopping has a lot of problems. We only see the goods picture when online shopping.As a result, we don't kown quanlity of online's goods, and it's easy to buy not suitabie for we. In my point, I am more in favor of online shopping.Because online shopping can let you never leave home can buy what you want.