可适当增加从句和复杂句使用;行为稍欠流畅,过渡词用的还可以;文中词汇较灵活,但要注意积累学术词汇,拼写错误也要注意。
With the computer prevail further, more and more people became a user on Internet all over the world. At the same time, our life became very convience through the computer, such as online shopping is a fashion. Nowdays, with the e-business widely development and not pay,a number of people choice set up an online store, not only the goods very cheap ,but also kinds of various. It is beneficial that not want to go to shopping on mall. Because of online store without pay , many college students earn enough tuition . But online shopping has a lot of problems. We only see the pictures of goods when online shopping.As a result, we may purchase the poor of quanlity of goods, and it's easy to buy not suitabie for we. In my point, I am more in favor of online shopping.Because online shopping can let you never leave home can buy what you want.