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拼写很棒，可适当增加学术词汇的使用；可适当增加从句和复杂句使用；行为稍欠流畅，过渡词用的还可以。
With the computer prevail further, more and more people became a user on Internet all over the world. At the same time, our life became convince through the computer, such as online shopping is a fashion. Nowadays, with the e-business widely development and not pay,a number of people choice set up an online store, not only the goods very cheap, but also kinds of various. It is beneficial that not want to go to shopping on mall. Because of online store don't pay , many college students can earn enough tuition . But online shopping has a lot of problems. We only see the pictures of goods when online shopping.As a result, we may purchase the poor of quanlity of goods, and it's easy to buy not suitable for we. In my point, I am more in favor of online shopping.Because online shopping can let you never leave home can buy what you want.
