文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;但从句使用不熟练,注意平时练习中多积累;衔接成分偏少;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
In the past,my hometown was surrounded by green trees. There were many fish playing in the clear rivers. In additions,the houses were simple and the streets were narrow.And the people's life are poor.but now,everything has been changed. The tall buildings can be seen everywhere.The big and small cars are driving on the road.The industrial development lead to the bad environment and the trees decrease and the fish disappear. So the first task is to govern the pollution .