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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；作者句法不错，但是文章整体句子稍微偏短；层次不清晰，几乎没有使用衔接词；请注意分段；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
One day, after school was over, Li Ming and Wang Ping were walking in the street when they suddenly saw an old man fall off his bicycle. One of the old man’s legs was injured and it was bleeding. Many people crowded around him. Someone suggested the old man be taken somewhere in the shade of trees. But Li Ming strongly disagreed. He had learned some knowledge about first aid before. He said that they ought to leave the old man where he was and check him. Now the old man was not breathing. Li Ming asked Wang Ping to telephone the First Aid Centre and he tried to start the old man’s breathing using the mouth-to-mouth way. Another young worker helped to stop the bleeding. Within ten minutes, the old man began to move a little and the doctors and nurses from the First Aid Centre arrived. They all said what Ling Ming did was right.
