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Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics, Current Population Survey.
拼写很棒，可适当增加学术词汇的使用；句式变化较为明显，另外句法层面做的不错；层次不清晰，几乎没有使用衔接词。
In recent decades, some people think that it's wasting time to study at school. Some people don't learn much but can also have big success. In my mind, I diagree with this kind of opinions. Anyway, a higher educational degree could bring you a lower unemployment rate and help you get higher salary. According to the current population survey, we can see what it works easily. Most people who have less than high school diploma can only get 451 dollars a week and the unemployment rate is high up 14.1%. If you have high school diploma, you can earn 638 dollars a week. It's a little better than people who have less than high school diploma, and it's unemployment rate is 9.4%. People who can go to college but don't have degree seem better than people who have high school diploma. However, if you have a degree, no matter what degree you have , associate, bachelor or master degree, you are much better than people who don't have any degree. There is a strange phenomenon. People who have professional degree can earn more than people who have doctor degree and it's unemployment rate lower. Although there is some strange phenomenon, have a higher degree is better than lower degree is not a wrong statement. If you want to earn money and you are not intelligent, you have to learn hard.
