过渡词和衔接词使用的比较不错;若注意一些语法错误,文章会更漂亮;请注意词汇表达的多样性及拼写错误,尤其加强学术词汇的使用。
How should parents help children to be independent Nowadays,many parents are concerned about their children most careful,which is meant to prepare anything enough for their children.On the one hand,it is convenient for the children and they can focus on study,on the other hand,it is harm the chirldren's thought and reduce their ability. On my views,they should let the chirldren become more independent.They need a chance to deal with their trouble without help.In order to give freedoom for the children,as the parent,firstly,they should make them learn to take care themselves for dairy,like cooking,doing housework,make a day plan by themselves.It is important for having courage to face problem and deal with,making a correct decide.If the chilren really can be independent,it is meant that he can have own idea,not only do they look more confident but also can be a leader. Last but not least,I think parent will believe their children is smart and strength.Because of"Where there is a will,there is a way.".They need a life experience to know the world.