文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;可适当增加连接词和衔接词的使用;可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用;请注意分段。
MY home town now has been changed a lot totally different from what it used to be ,because the pollution becomes more and more serious.I love my home town used to be surrounded by trees.Besides,there were lots of fishes playing in the river whose water was very clean.What's more ,the houses people lived were very simple and the streets were too narrow to run cars,making the air fresher.Further more,people lived there worked hard and lived a hard life . Now,it has been converted.You can see many big buildings,factories and shops everywhere.People can earn more mony and life becomes easier.You also can see various cars run on the streets fastly.But the environment has been deteriorated by the rapid development of industry.You can see lots of trees have been cut down to satisfy the economic needs and numerous fishes have been disappeared because of the dirty water.There is no doubt that,it is very urgent to deal with the pollutants and improve the environment to make our life better and healthier.