单词拼写很棒,可考虑增加学术词汇的使用量;文中应适当增加从句和长难句的使用;全文结构较为严谨。
MY home town now has been transfered a lot which was totally different from what it used to be,because the pollution becomes more and more serious. Sure I really love my home town which used to be surrounded by green trees.Besides,there were lots of fish playing in the river whose water was extremely clean and fresh.What's more,the houses where people lived in were very simple.Mentioning to the air,it was so clean and fantastic as for the streets were too narrow to run cars.Furthermore,people lived there worked hard and lived a hard life . Now,it has been converted.Not only can you see many high buildings and large mansions but also can you see factories and shops everywhere which make our city more prosperous.Besides,there are various running cars on the streets fast.Of course,the fast development provides us with more jobs than ever before and people can live easier more comfortably.But the environment has been wrecked deeply by the rapid development of industry.On the one way,lots of trees have been cut down to content the economic needs,on the other way numerous fishes have been disappeared because of the dirty water.There is no doubt that,it is very urgent to deal with the pollutants and improve the environment to make our life better and healthier.