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过渡词很丰富，衔接词同时使用的恰到好处；从句和复杂句用的不错，但部分句子还有一些小问题；文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了。
How I Finance My College Education There are many ways to earn enough money to afford your college life,and before I started my college life,I have thought many ways to earn money to afford my life,but until I began my study,I found it is not easy to do it,because the courses is more then I thought,especially when I took part in some organization,the rest time is much less. Even if there are many limits for me to earn money,I have many ways to do it.Because we can get money by getting experiences from all kinds of your classes and other activities.Just like we can build a small shop by ourselves,and find customers from the activities and your classes.At weekends,you can do some part time job,such like handout papers,sale goods,or you can teach children by doing a home-teacher like you have met when you are young. Every thing can be true only if you want to do and you start to do,and there are many ways for you to choose to earn money for your college life.
