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作者词汇基本功不错，学术词汇表达灵活熟练；文中应适当增加从句和长难句的使用；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Is it essential for children to expand their knowledge in wider fields during high grade stage? More than a decade this issue has divided the public, and even today it still sparks bitter controversy among educators. Some experts say the result of extending students' sphere of knowledge is positive and benefit. This notion supports think that students can have acquate opportunities to touch knowledge what they are interested in ,hereby, stimulate their curiosities to explore society and world, contribute to all round development. In addition, students choose subjects accord to their desires instead of being forced by teachers and parents.This trend will decrease weariness and conflicted moods of children. Yet there ia still a dark side in this picture. Other experts worry about this phenomenon will push education system on the brink of collapse. Initially, in primary school stage, the main knowledge is partial to basic which is necessary for children to grasp. In order words, if students cannot well receive these relevant subjects, they would feel that the further study is far exceeded their abilities. Furthermore, all courses are geared to cater to children's understanding ability instead of increasing burden of learning. That is to say, a reasonable and science education system can be beneficial to intellectual development. In sum, personally, my view is that it is not essential to increase courses,though it can expand students' views. As we known, haste makes waste.We should return a comfortable and happy environment for our children. Only through this way can children lead lovely childrenhoods
