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作者能较熟练地使用词汇表达，一些学术词汇的使用也比较灵活；句法知识很棒，若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更出色；过渡词和衔接词使用不恰当，缺少组织，可适当增加连接词的使用。
with the development of scientific and technology,nowadays,the online shopping is fashionable,most of people like online shopping,famous movie star,students. it can be said that online shopping has created many benefits but has caused some serious problem at the same time.different people has different attitude towards online shopping.some people hold that online shopping is convenience for us.it brought a lot of benefit.however,others people think that online shopping has caused some bad affect in a way.it's possible that unsafe. as far as my knowledge is concerned,i think online shopping is good for us.on one hand,it can save times.on the other hand,we can buy a lot of things from internet.
