文中从句使用量偏少;文中用词稍显贫乏,同时请注意单词拼写的检查;上下文衔接欠佳,文章层次欠清晰,建议加强连接词和衔接词的积累;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
Mary Chen: It's the time for me to go to Beijing on business a week tomorrow.I am sorry about the thing that can't disuss with everybobdy for hold a party.So it is up you to the hold a party.Please you decide on time and space.Then notify everyone in case of need.Thank you. LiMing 2008,12,23