文章结构清晰,有效地采用了多种衔接方法;可适当增加从句的使用;文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了。
There is an old saying, ”Where there is a will, there is a way ”, it means that we can’t reach success unless we have a strong will. Actually, just as the saying “Quitting smoking is the easiest in the world, I’ ve done it hundreds of times” not only for quitting smoking,but all succeeds need a strong will. Nothing succeeds without a strong will. For one thing, as we all realize, it’s not easy for us to success because the way to success is far more difficult as we expect. Since people who have a strong will can hold their dream and try it again and again. For another thing, a strong will can give us power and courage when we intend to give up sometimes. Sometimes if we try one more time,we can gain the final success and see the brilliant future. As far as I am concerned, no matter what we do, we should hold a strong will so that we can have confidence and courage to obtain the final success.