单词拼写做的很好,请注意积累词汇量;增加一些从句的使用,文章会更不错;建议在衔接词汇方面加强积累;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用;连词使用偏少。
My new teacher is a young man.He has a little fat.Have a glass in the face.Look like an old man.He is twety-one.His wife is house-women.My teacher is english teach in the middle school.He has a Jeep.Jim is him son.we are classmate.He is Chinese.He home in Shanghai.So i like my new teacher.