作者词汇表达较为熟练,学术词汇使用不是很多;可适当增加从句和复杂句使用;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
The Car Accident It is terrified for me to see an accident at 11:20 today. As a witness, I must say something about what I was watched. There was a red car who came from left, which is a wonderful car of "Baoma". What's more, I like the car extremely, but I really don't like the driver. Because the driver ignored the red light above his head and across the sidewalk quickly. Insides, I can't realize the red car whether speeded up or not, while a motorbike came from right. How crazy, some persons fly and the time, I remembered I just looked at my watch, is 11:20 in the morning. People surrounded with them, and the driver and the girl who between in the motorbike was died. These just I know for this accident, and I hope it will help you something.