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作者学术词汇使用比较准确，词汇表达较丰富，但仍需增加词汇积累；作者句法不错，但是文章整体句子稍微偏短；衔接成分太少，文章结构欠佳；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
recent years,along with the advancement of the society more and more issues have claimed our serious attention,one of which is that online shopping. Nowday,online shopping is become fashionable.More and more people are like to online shopping.Why did the online shopping being popular?The reason is various.First and foremost,the price of same conducts in the online shop is cheaper than the entity shop.Second,people can shopping whenever they use the network. It is obvious that online shopping is make our life more convenient.Nevertheless,it is the online shopping bare of harm? In effect,there is a few problem if the consumer overdoing in online shopping.Primarily,people will put to use online shopping with their cell phone or computer .They will focus on the phone or computer for a long time.Gradually,the eyes will be injury.That is not best for our health. what can we do to eat the fish and avoid the bones?As I see it,everything is harmful to on condition that you overdoing in it.Hence,we should maintain the regular in our online shopping time.
