词汇表达不够丰富,要增加学术词汇的使用;若注意一些句子错误,文章会更漂亮;文章采用了适当的过渡词和衔接词,结构比较严谨;请注意分段。
We are born for some reasons,we live on the earth and we live at the age where high technology is booming and developing.The life is a long period of trip and we have enough time to do whatever we want to do.we have dreams and we try our best to achieve those dreams,this is where our meaning of life exists.Therefore,as far as i concerned,the greatest use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it. First of all,if a person does nothing