3.参考词汇:牛津--Oxford费用--fee
过渡词和衔接词使用的比较不错;有效的运用了一些复杂句;作者学术词汇方面要多累积,词汇表达不够丰富;请注意分段;可以适当增加副词的使用。
As a Buddhist, not only do I devote myself to studying, but also take part in many activitie to help the poor and the animals. In modern society, people start to know what we call ''human care''。From my point of view, ''human care is we, human beings care about all the things we approach to.