请作者仔细检查词汇的拼写,同时学术词汇量还要多多积累;可适当增加复杂句和从句的使用;结构不严谨,几乎没有使用衔接词,上下文衔接欠流畅。
As we all know that nowadays we are living in a dangerous earth which is polluted heavily. If we could't do anything to stop the pollutiong we would die out one day. The first thing I want to say is the air pollution. My home is in a small village. There I have fresh air to breath everymoring so that I feel spiritual all day. But I work in Chengdu and live in an apartment in the west of downtown. When I get home I feel hot and it's hard to breath. Why? Because it is filled with cars and factories here. And the population is quite large. Thus I think we should reduce the use of private cars and move some facotories to a small town in order that lead some workers move away from downtown. The second thing I want to say the water polluting. I heard from my father that years ago they could catch fish directly in the small steam in front of our house. But now you can hardly see on in it. Why? That's becuase the water is full of chemisty and posion. Fish can't live in it now. What should we do? I think the goverment should pay more attention on it to control the 排放 of 废水 seriously. Besides what I said, there are many other kinds of pollution. Hense It's necessary to do something to improve the enviroment.