作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,学术词汇使用稍显不足;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用。
The Car Accident It is terrified for me to see an accident at 11:20 today. As a witness, I must say something about what I was watched. There was a red car who came from left, which is a wonderful car of "Baoma". What's more, I like the car extremely, but I really don't like the driver. Because the driver ignored the red light above his head and across the sidewalk quickly. Insides, I can't realize the red car whether speeded up or not, while a motorbike came from right. How crazy, some persons flying form the motorbike. At the same time, I remebered I just looked at my watch, which time is 11:20 in the morning. People surrounded with them, and the driver and the girl who between in the motorbike was died. These just I know for this accident, and I hope it will help you something.