文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;句法知识很棒,若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更出色;过渡词和衔接词使用的比较不错。
My favorite sport People in the world love to play sports, not only because it can relax ourselves, but can also exercise our bodies. My favorite sport is playing football. I start this favorite only by chance. One day when I was just at the way home, I got a football near the road, and then I started playing football with my friends and I can't stop it. Then life with football began. Later I join the school team because of my love with it, so I often practice playing football with my classmates and friends, or sometimes even with my P.E. teacher, so I improved very fast. My favorite football player is Backham from England, he can play football very well. And my dream is to be a professional football player as well as him! I hope it will come true.