文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,学术词汇使用稍显不足;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用;采用了一些简单的从句。
How to improve school safety More and more violent things happened in our campus these days.So how can we stop this kind of things become a very serious problem. First we should start teaching campus safety classes.I think with the help of these classes many young children will be more careful when them are in school.Second,it's also improtant to get more security guards.And let they must be train well.Third,the whole society should attention these things. I believed the campus's violence won't be a problem if we work together.