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作者词汇表达较丰富准确，不过学术词汇的积累还有很大的空间；可适当增加几条从句；全文结构较为严谨；请注意分段。
Somebody always claim they are unlucky,they don't get what they want.But they never find the reason why they can't achieve their dreams. Everyone want to have a suitable life, have a great job and become a sucesse man.In fact most people live an ordianary life,only a few people can succeed.Why only the minority achieve their dreams,because they have a strong will to do it,than the other.As what they say they pay a lot of time and effort,they never give up,there is a will in their mind.For example,Kobe is the best player in the NBA,he gets up in 4 a.m,and try his best to accomplish his goal ,with several years efforts,he become the best and the strongest player,he become a model for the other player.Many students like Kobe treat him as a God,what we can learn from Kobe is his effort and his will to do what he want.If now we don't study hard and no target, we can't succeed.
