文中词汇表达多样性不足,在学术词汇方面尤其要多积累;正确句子比例较高,适当增加复杂句的使用,文章会更出色;行为稍欠流畅,过渡词用的还可以;请注意分段。
I have a good friend. She is a beautiful girl who has long black hair, two big black eyes as well as a red mouth. Her voice is better and she is skilled in singing. Meanwhile,She is a clever girl. She likes reading books , playing computer games,chess as well. She not only nice but also often helps us . In our class,we all like her very much.