过渡词很丰富,衔接词同时使用的恰到好处;作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇,建议要多使用学术词汇;作者应适量增加从句的使用量;请注意分段。
personally, I think it is one of the most significant elements for us to eat what we eat.For example, organic foods includes meats,fruits,drinks and anything else. most of us would rather pay more money in order to have a better diet . but,at the same time, some of us are still having the not good diet,and they would be bartieular about food,such as the snack. So,to improve the diet life totally,we need to build up a good diet firstly.