2013年12月英语四级作文真题附范文(第2套):手机

正确句子比例较高，适当增加复杂句的使用，文章会更出色；文章词汇表达比较丰富，但学术词汇稍显欠缺，此外拼写检查要重视；文章结构不够严谨，应增加过程性词汇的使用；请提高文章内敛性，段落和句子要围绕主题展开。

As far as we know ,the tephones are effecting our daily life .it is comfortable and easy to see news .we never dream of using telephones to communicate each other years ago .Now they are an important part of ourselves.we use telephones,which may control everything in our families . Now ,many students are using telephones .in my opinion ,not until they pass exams ,can they use telephones . Actually ,by the way ,our heath is attacking by telephone on it. well ,we are slowly driving into bad situation .we must give up using telephones immedicately .