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采用了适当的衔接手法，层次清晰；句式灵活多变，再加强从句的使用会更棒；作者词汇基础不错，学术词汇表达比较恰当，避免拼写错误。
In the crowed bus, there are a old man carring his little grandchild difficultly stands and hold balance, while, indifferently, the young man disguises as the blind and sits there without any shame. The drawing is obviously exposing the feet of the clay in our modern society. The phenomenon is not rare and shocking as we have already hear a amount of accidents alike, which reveals the fact -- moral decline in social prosperity. It stricks me that the typical event, melamine was added to the milk illegally, was manipulated by the household named companise , aroused the publicity over moral decline. Due to Those selfish men care nothing but their profit ,moral decline could prove the davestating tragedy and made our society barely fulfill with harmony. human are so prone to be selfish and to be greedy that they reject to stand other sides to think about result by the sway of their behaviors entailing disappoint. On such a circumstance, the drastic action should be token to cease our excellent moral wither. On the one hand, the traditional virtue, such as hospitality, selfless and etc, should be encouraged to diffuse among the mass, either by media or by education system. On the another hand, citizens should positively involve in raising awareness of moral decline.
