托福独立写作模拟题:关于金钱

语句间的衔接成分用的不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；运用了丰富的复杂句；词汇表达灵活多样请继续保持，不过学术词汇的积累还有很大的空间。

Money always being regarded as an important part of human life,with large amounts of money,people tend to do everything they want to do,buying tasty food,beautiful clothes,receiving a better education and so on,not only you full of comfort,but also others would think highly of you,money is magical,which make life different. A famous singer,who is always being looked down upon in his childhood,because his family in bad condition,On his birthday,he refused to invented his friend, once are they came to his home,the shortage of his family will expose to everyone,from then on,he made his mind to hardworking,in order to make large amounts of money,he never lacking in sweat in his life,finally,he end up with becoming a well-known singer. A coin with two sides,the money could bring us benefit in the meantime,it also bury us in a dilemma,in some way,earn too much money is what we are supposed to avoid.In fact,the physical life is quite limited by the big world,however,the mental life is our spiritual centers,which you should hold. Expand the spiritual centers,in terms of personal values, money is only a tool to get something in reality,on the other hand,it can not show us a belief,what do we need?Which would comforts us when we have difficulty,weather a person is kind is not to see how much money he had earn,