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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；句法知识很棒，若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更出色；文章上下文衔接不是很紧凑，结构缺少组织。
My hometown is the lovely village.There are surrounded by small river and big mountain.So we can breathe fresh of air and listen to song of birds or sleep in the silence of night here.Therebefore many persons will come here tour for this. What a nice and beautiful place! I love it very much. My good friend is name Lucy.She had just told me that she would have come here for her holiday.So I have to design a schedule for her and hope she has a good holiday.First,we will go to the highest mountain of there in the morning and breathe fresh of air and running.It will take me comfort.Second,I will lead her to tasting much more delicious foods,sweet snacks,fresh fruits ect.
