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文中词汇表达比较多样，能多用学术词汇就更好了；句法知识很棒，若增加一些从句的使用，文章会更出色；层次不清晰，几乎没有使用衔接词。
My hometown is the lovely village.There are surrounded by small river and big mountain.When we are there that we can breathe fresh of air and hear song of birds.We also can feel its silence even if in the evening of summer.Therebefore many persons will come here tour for this. What a nice and beautiful place! I love it very much. My good friend is name Lucy.She had just told me that she would have come here for her holiday.So I have to design a schedule for her and hope she has a good holiday.First,we will go to the highest mountain of there in the morning and breathe fresh of air and running.It will take me comfort.Second,I will lead her to tasting much more delicious foods,sweet snacks,fresh fruits ect.
