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若加强一些复杂句和从句的使用，文章会更棒；作者能较熟练、灵活地使用词汇，建议要多使用学术词汇；衔接成分太少，文章结构欠佳。
With the computer is used widely,the internet is thought widely by people.Many people use the internet for each day.They think that the internet is quick and convenient,and it make our works and studies can be completed for high efficiency.People can purshase required things quickly,for example: clothing and shoes and computers and telephones, snack and watches and handbags ect. They can buy anything there. So it is welcomed extremely. However,It is very harmful that many young boys and girls spend more time on the internet in their daily life. They play games on the computer,even if they lost interest of studies.It was very terrible and took more unhealthy habit for young people.So many parents do not agree their children touch the computer. In my opinion,the internet has good face and bad face.It is important that we must arrange reasonable time and don't waste of more times on play games.
