请作者增加学术词汇的使用,不过单词拼写做的很好;应增加从句和复杂句的使用,注意部分有错误的句子;衔接成分太少,文章结构欠佳。
"Ding poison poison" sleep, hear the alarm clock rang, dad silently to dress up, a new day begins. "Space, get up!"Father wakes me up, I skid to climb up, quickly wear good clothes, wait me to wash up, dad is ready meals on the table.After dinner, my father and I ride a bike together, dad go to work, I go to school. At noon after school, I walk to the father work units, dad didn't wait for me, as usual a aunt told me, dad is do surgery, take a long time.Dad under operation after half an hour, he told me: "there are three surgery this morning, the last one is the most difficult to do, so late some, but after dad and other doctors to rescue, to save the day." Night falls, the lights in the street, we are eating delicious supper, dad's mobile phone rang suddenly, the telephone inside said had emergency surgery, a patient who need emergency surgery!Dad put down the bowl chopsticks, ran straight to the hospital... When dad came home with weary footsteps, it's already ten o 'clock at night.I asked my father: "a day's work tired?"Father said, "to heal the wounded and rescue the dying is the doctor's job, no matter what time, doing, will be serious to do a good work! Get things done." Father's day is busy, but it is full of happiness!