文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;文中从句过少;上下文衔接不流畅,文章结构不严谨;请注意分段。
My hometown My hometown is a beautiful town in the past.You can see green tree around here and the fish are playing in the river.The house is simple and the street is narrow.People lived an easy and happy life.But now,the tall buildings are build instead of the simple house.Cars go out in the street without big or small.Trees are being cut down and the fish disappeared.The environment becomes badly by the development of industry.Governance the pollution become the first important issue now.