上下文衔接手法不熟练,没有能够有效的使用衔接词;部分句子偏简单,注意有错误的句子;文中拼写错误比较多,用词也稍显贫乏;请注意分段。
a beautiful city in china i feel very happy because of my foreign friend will visit my hometown . do you know the home of 牡丹 ,? doyou know liyuan Peng ?now,i beiieve youwill know my hometown heze. when my friend come ,i will take him to my home , then