学术词汇的积累还有很大的空间,请作者注意检查单词拼写;使用了部分简单的长难句,可适当增加一些复杂的长句;上下文衔接不流畅,文章结构不严谨。
Tlie argument that this warning system willvirtuallysolve the problem of midair planecollisions omits some important concerns that must be addressed to substantiate the argument. Tliestatement that follows the description ofwhat this warning system will do simply describes the system and howit operates. This alone doesnot constitutea logical argument in favor of the warning system, and it certainly does not providesupport or proofof the main argument. Most conspicuously, the argument doesnot address the cause of the problem of midair plane collisions, the use ofthesystembypilotsandflightspecialists,orwhois involved in the midair plane collisions. First, the argument assumes that thecause ofthe problem isthat the planes' courses, the likelihood ofcollisions, and actions to avoid collisions are unknown or inaccurate. In a weakattempttosupportitsclaim, the argument describes a system that makes allofthese things accurately known. But if the cause of the problem of midairplane collisions is that pilotsare not payingattention to their computer systems or flight operations, the warning system will not solve the collisionproblem. Second, the argument neveraddressesthe interface between individuals and thesystem andhow thiswill affect thewarning system's objective ofobliterating theproblem of collisions. Ifthepilot orflight specialist does notconform towhat thewarning system suggests, midaircollisions willnotbeavoided. Finally, ifplanes otherthan commercial airliners areinvolved in thecollisions, theproblem ofthese collisions cannot besolved byawarning system thatwillnot be installed onnon-commercial airliners. The argument also does not address what would happen in theevent thatthewarning system collapses, fails, ordoes notwork properly. Because the argumentleaves outseveral key issues, it isnotsoundorpersuasive. If it included the items discussed above instead ofsolely explaining what the system supposedly does, theargument would have been more thorough andconvincing.