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拼写很棒，可适当增加学术词汇的使用；有效地采用了一些简单的从句为文章增色；行为稍欠流畅，过渡词用的还可以。
The benefits of volunteering? When you help who need help,you will feel very happy from the heart,you will gain regard and praise by other people,as a volunteer you will find your work is very significative.even you will feel pround of it. Today for many of local government is very incapable in the china, our country exists a great many problems,these problems contain that the remote country's child education problem、And their medical problem、Alone old people's life problem etc,especially the remote country's child,their school still is made of earth,when they fall ill,for their family is rather poor,so that they don't have enough money to see the doctor,nowadays aging problem more and more serious in our country,their children as some reasons can't take care them,they just send to the old people's home,they desire to attend and greeting,so they need give a helping hand. So as a volunteer,we appeal to more people join in our troop,we should try our best to help people who need help,and we need to bring warm sunshine for them.
