文章词汇表达比较灵活,学术词汇的使用要继续加强;作者句法不错,但是文章整体句子稍微偏短;缺少组织,上下文衔接稍显不流畅;请注意分段。
I have a friend named Bao Yunong. He is my best friend and I enjoy the time with him. He is very lazy and he likes PC games very much, and...so am I. He didn't work about 3 years after he finish his college life and he play games everyday at home. During this three years I worked everyday but I can't feel happy. Although I earned money and started work career like other friends, I lost my laugh either. When I talk to him, I can find out the happiness what I have had in school days.