文中词汇表达比较多样,能多用学术词汇就更好了;可适当增加从句和复杂句使用;全文结构较为严谨,应适当增加文中衔接词的使用。
A traffic accident took place around my house last week and there was one person killed and two people injured in it. More and more people were killed by traffic accident nowadays. And why the traffic accident took place so frequently all over the world? I search a lot of data for the reason why the rates of the car accident took place more and more highly. There are most important reasons following. The first one, the economy nowadays is more and more developed and the population is larger and larger, too large population results of the heavy traffic. An accident will take place easily as for People who are in a hurry. The second one,there are more and more teenagers have their own cars or motor-cycles, and some of them don’t have taken the driving training and they are illegal. However,most of them enjoy racing on the road and they always break the traffic rules. There were a lot of teenagers killed by it. The third one, overloading is also an important reason that leads to the traffic accident. Many drivers of bus and trucks jammed on their brakes as soon as the accident took place but they could not braked it in time because of inertia. It’s well-known that the greater mass, the greater inertia. The opinions above are the most important reasons lead to the traffic accident. So what can we do to prevent from them? I think everyone should obey the traffic rules carefully so that we can decrease the rates of the accident. As for the people who drive bus or trucks should not overload and they can brake in time when the accident happens. The last one,also the most important point, everyone should be careful when we crossing the road and looking around quickly before. Everyone should prevent themselves from traffic accident.