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Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics, Current Population Survey.
语句间的衔接成分用的不错，同时文章中的过程性词汇很丰富；文中句式变化多样，同时从句使用很棒；文中词汇较灵活，但要注意积累学术词汇，拼写错误也要注意；请注意分段。
Along with the improvement of living standards,people no longer care the money their earn, but more concern our environment,because there are many pollution around us man facing a big probable with enviroment pollution,now it is time than to fixed it ,what we are going to do ? different people hold different views,some people claim than we should reduce use plastic page ,plant more trees,at the same time we should strengthen our awareness of enviroment protect,while other people think that everyone should take the responsible to protect our environment,especially, industry do not put the pollution water into the river and environment should arouse our wide concern. in the eyes of me ,i think than not only we are care about it but also government should attach more important to the environment.only in this way we environment will become more and more beautiful
