采用了简单的衔接手法,行文流畅;句式灵活多变,再加强从句的使用会更棒;作者能较熟练地使用丰富的词汇,但请加强单词拼写的检查;请注意分段。
My school is lied in MaCheng,HuBei privince,MaCheng is a very beautiful city,Our life is so civility anh peaceful in there,I could not be proud of it too much. Jane is my good friend,I was acquaintanced with him in ShangHai two years ago,He comes from France,France is so romantic that I am glad to get here,ecpecially Provence,It is surrounded by fields and lavender.But now,I invited him to see our hometown.I will take him go to WuNao montain,It has been paved with camelia which include kinds of color,and much of ancient legend.There is other place shouldn't lose,that's GuiShan,Our Chinese know proverb:"World April day MaCheng the cuckoo flowers".