作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;能较灵活地使用部分学术词汇,有基础拼写错误,需要注意一下;文章层次较为清晰;请注意分段。
With the development of technology, an increasing expanding number of people begin to refuse the social interaction. A young people who hate the out word and want to live away from the physical world .His determination touched god and luckily get an independent island. After a part of time , he change from a gentleman into a slutte man ,everything around him become bad and clutters. Even he is suspected that whether he exist in the material word. So he was scared in this small island. He prayed day and night, eventually come back to this crowed world and enjoy in it.
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