有效地采用了多种衔接方法,层次清晰;从句使用很不错,再接再厉;学术词汇需要继续积累,单词拼写不错。
I saw a view that work is the important thing on our life just now and I have some ideas about it. It’s obviously that everyone needs money to pay for the charge on our daily life, and getting a job is a most popular way for us to earn money. It also can say the major purpose that whatever we study such as learning the special skills or other languages even go to college is to get a better job in the future. Self-improvement is not the major purpose for students to try their best to learn all the subjects instead of getting good grades to go to a good school. Not only do the students work hard for their future, but also do people who have owned a job never stop improving all kinds of abilities of them to find a better job. Is it the work so important that people who are not only students but also workers have to be ready for it early? As a matter of fact, it's really important for us to work when we are alive because not only everyone should pay for the cost, but also work is an important part of our life. People who have ability to make a living just relying on others but not working will be criticized, and in general, people those eat their own flesh will also be gotten away from with because we think it is unwise to get along with them. In a word, making a living by working is a way that every one of us conforms and adopts. However, while we are struggling on our career, don’t forget to relax when you are sick. Sometimes, having a rest is for working better. After all, a healthy body and happiness will lead to the high-efficiency work. All in all, on the one hand, it’s essential for us to own our career, on the other hand, every one of us should learn to make transitions after the busy work. Last but not least, conforming the current can help us to live on a colorful and meaningful life.