作者词汇量积累很好,学术词汇积累要重视;作者句法知识很棒,适当增加从句的使用,会取得更不错的成绩;行文稍显不流畅,应增加文中衔接词的使用;请提高文章内敛性,段落和句子要围绕主题展开。
YU YANG Tower The nice city Yue-Yang which locates in the north of HuNan province is my hometown.Whoever comes to visit my hometown,I will take hin/her to see the outstanding building-YueYang Tower. Yue-Yang Tower is one of the four famous tower building that represent the tower history of China.It was built in ming dinasty and very famous since then.Every year it attracts several millions people, including some move star and many visitors from all over the world.It is not just a building,it also represents our culture.If you climb up the top of it,you can enjoy the fresh wind comes from dongting lake which is the largest lake in the middle of our country.After that you can tast a lot of local food such as spicy duck and yueyang soup bean and so on. After eating you can do some buy memorable staffs for your friends.In the evening,you can dance with the local people and other visitors. It is so fun and so meaningful place to visit.I am sure my friend will like it.