文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,学术词汇使用稍显不足;文中应增加一些长难句的使用,会为文章添彩;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词。
How to improve the school safety School safety is a matter of great importance. Great efforts should be made by the school to make sure the campus is safe. Firstly, nobody permission. The school guard should check everyone entering the school Besides, the school security guards should walk arothe campus from time to time so that some bad people can be ed away. More importantly, school safety education should be offered by the school. Students can be taught what to do when faced with danger. As for us students, we should keep safety in mind whatever we do. We shouldn't trust strangers or give away our personal information to them.