文中有几处错误的句子,部分句子偏简单;层次不清晰,几乎没有使用衔接词;文章中拼写错误较多,同时请作者增加词汇丰富度;请注意分段;连词使用偏少。
we should do our things.at frist ,we can slef the bad thing to help the poor children.then ,make the papre of the helping.to the friends and classmates to raise money.next ,make sure they realise the hurry people the hard life.finally, talk to the children to make them happy and prsuresed.
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