文中词汇表达较丰富恰当,但学术词汇稍显不足;若增加一些从句的使用,文章会更不错;文章结构不够严谨,应增加过程性词汇的使用。
Dear schoolmates, While we are sitting in our bright classroom, remember there are lots of children in the poor and disaster areas needing our help badly. Summer vacation is coming. Let’s do something to help them. As students, we can give away our pocket money, school things, some of our clothes and toys.We can also donate some books to them in order to open up their eyes to the outside world. We may raise money for charity by collecting used bottled, plastics, waste paper and so on , or by doing part-time jobs, such as, handing out advertisements, selling newspapers and so on. Making pen pals with them will be a better way to help deal with problems in their study. The more we devote/do, the better world would be! Student's Union June 13, 2008
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